Byakuya's Thoughts
by pinaprincess
Summary: A short story about Byakuya and Hisana. How they met and their life up until her death
1. Chapter 1

**My thoughts on Byakuya and Hisana to the song My Immortal by Evanescence. Hope you enjoy.**

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Byakuya Kuchiki was many things: a great warrior, head of the Kuchiki clan and to most a bit of a bastard. However to one person he had been something completely different – he had been hers.

_I'm so tired of being here  
Suppressed by all my childish fears_

He was sitting by the lake just beyond the walls of Seiretei, the place were they had first met, the place he had asked her to marry him, the place where she had died.

_And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave_  
_Coz your presence still lingers here  
And it won't leave me alone_

Tears glistened in his eyes as he watched the sakura petals slowly fall into the water. Anyone watching the Sixth Division Captain would have sworn it was a trick of the light. Byakuya Kuchiki was not known for showing his emotions, especially since her passing. His Hisana.

_These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
_

He thought back to when they has first met, a night he knew changed his life for the better.

He had been walking to escape the Kuchiki Elders from they're meddling and constant questioning about when he was going to find a suitable noble bride. Shunpoing out of Seiretei, he had come across the lake with the sakura trees in full bloom. She had been sitting on the edge of the lake; his presence however had startled her causing her to fall into the lake.

_There's just too much that time cannot erase_

He had been quick to get to the lakeside to see if she was okay, not knowing why he should care – he just did. He held out a hand and took hold of hers, pulling her gently to get her out of the lake. Her black hair hanging limply in front of her face, her eyes sparkling with light.

She had been quick to notice that he was no ordinary shinigami, his Kenseikan and green scarf showed him to be more than that. She quickly turned to run, escaping the humiliation she felt at embarrassing herself in front of nobility. She had taken a few steps before her hand had been taken hold of. She turned to see the face of the man who had helped her from the lake, her face full of confusion

"You never told me your name." He said, as if it had been plainly obvious to why he had held her back

"Hisana, Sir." Her voice was soft and quiet, quivering slightly from being spoken to by a Noble from Seiretei, "What is yours if it is not so impertinent to ask."

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears_

Hisana could have sworn she saw a small smile grace the face of the normally stoic man but it was gone when she blinked.

"Byakuya." He answered, "Kuchiki Byakuya."

_And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have all of me_

Many viewed the night he had asked Hisana to marry him in different lights. The Kuchiki Elders had seen it as a way of rebellion against the sacred traditions of the clan; others saw it as a way for Hisana to worm her way into getting a life she could never have. The people who knew them best however had seen it for what it really was. Byakuya Kuchiki loved her.

_You used to captivate me by your resonating light  
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind_

The moon had been full in the sky that night, the sakura blossoms falling slowly around them, she had been his inspiration to Senbonzakura, the petals forever reminding him of her.

He brushed the hair out of her eyes, kissing her tenderly on the lips. They sat down by the lakes edge and he pulled her into his lap. Wrapping his arms around her, she leant into his warmth, her head resting on his shoulder.

"I love you, Hisana." He whispered into her ear, "I loved you from the first moment I saw you, right here by the lake two years ago today."

_Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams  
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me_

She turned to face him, looking deep into his eyes; it was as if she could see right inside his soul, his eyes showing all of his emotions the only one he showed them to.

"I want you to be with me always, to be by my side for eternity. Will you marry me Hisana?"

Her heart seemed to stop at those words, a gasp escaping her mouth. He pulled a box out of his pocket, opening it to reveal a ring with six pink jewels making the shape of a flower in sakura petals.

_These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real_

"I'm yours now and forever, Byakuya." She whispered, smiling

That was the first time Hisana knew she saw him smile.

_There's just too much that time cannot erase_

The day she died, Byakuya stopped showing emotion. He became cold, not showing compassion to anyone because it felt like he was betraying her memory.

Hisana had spent many of the days of her married life searching for her sister, not allowing Byakuya to help her in her search. She did not want him to have to shoulder her burden also. Her search had caused her to catch a disease, her search ultimately led to her death

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears_

They were taking a walk together outside the gates of Seiretei, Byakuya had been promoted to Captain of the Sixth Division not long before and had yet to show her his Bankai, she had insisted the go by the lake so he could.

At first he had refused because of her deteriorating health, she had become weak with exhaustion and he did not want her to go to far. He had eventually allowed it, so long as it was only to the lake where they were in view of the gates.

_And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have all of me_

A wave of exhaustion had overcome her when they reached the lake; Byakuya put her to rest under the sakura trees, her head in his lap.

"Do you think it hurts to die?" She whispered

Byakuya looked down at his wife, startled at her question.

"You are not going to die, Hisana." Byakuya said, stroking her hair.

"I can feel it Byakuya." She told him, "Promise me that when I die that you will look for my sister. Find her and make her your sister. Just do not tell her about me, I do not deserve her to know who I am."

Coughs racked through her body, blood filling her mouth from her lungs. Byakuya wiped the side of her mouth, staining his robes but he did not care for that. He was more concerned with his ailing wife and her death wish.

_I tried so hard to tell myself that your gone,  
But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along_

"Promise me Byakuya." She said with as much force as her body would let her.

He took her hand and held it in his own.

"I promise." He whispered into her hair.

She passed away in his arms, sakura blossoms falling onto her pale skin.

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears_

Tears fell down the normally serious face of Byakuya Kuchiki, twenty years had passed and it was still as if it had been as if she had died only the day before.

His life had seemed empty without Hisana, she had been the only woman he had loved and could ever love.

He had carried out her dying wish and found her sister in the Shinigami Academy. He had adopted her into the Kuchiki family, never telling her of her sister. Never daring to become close to her as a brother because she resembled a woman too close to his heart.

_And I've held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have all of me, me, me, me_

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**Fin.**

**Please Review and tell me what you think. Will possibly turn into a few more chapters but it depends on the reviews I get**


	2. Chapter 2

Byakuya had yet again walked out of a meeting with the Kuchiki Elders without even allowing them to finish. He hated the politics that came with being a noble, the need for him to find a respectable noble bride to stay dutifully by his side when he became the Head of the Kuchiki clan. Byakuya was more concerned with communicating with his zanpakutou and to learn its name.

She spoke to him often, chiding him for acting disrespectful to the Elders. She was as stubborn as he was, refusing to tell him her name until he found his much lacking resolve. Only until he had found something he was willing to protect no matter what the costs would she help him.

He had taken to going on one of his evening walks to clear his head, forgetting about his duties and responsibilities. Hiding his reiatsu so to go undetected through Seiretei, he shunpoed through the streets and outside of the walls. Once outside the walls, he took to walking towards the sakura trees close by. He allowed his reiatsu to flow once more, his presence felt by those within close proximity. He had not however counted on someone sitting on the lake's edge and startling her.

The girl let out a small shriek as she felt a sudden pulse of reiatsu and toppled into the lake. Byakuya had not paused to think before he realised that he was at the lake's edge, helping the girl out. He held out his hand and took hold of hers. Her black hair was hanging limply in front of her face, her eyes however were sparkling with an emotion Byakuya could not identify. The girl looked up at Byakuya's face, studying it carefully. She had been quick to notice that he was no ordinary Shinigami, his Kenseikan and green scarf showed him to be more than that. Her cheeks flushed a pale shade of pink and she quickly turned to run, escaping the humiliation she felt at embarrassing herself in front of nobility. She had taken a few steps before her hand had been taken hold of again. She turned to see the face of the man who had helped her from the lake, her face full of confusion

"You never told me your name." He said, as if it had been plainly obvious to why he had held her back

"Hisana, Sir." Her voice was soft and quiet, quivering slightly from being spoken to by a Noble from Seiretei, "What is yours if it is not so impertinent to ask."

Hisana could have sworn she saw a small smile grace the face of the normally stoic man but it was gone the moment she blinked.

"Byakuya." He answered, "Kuchiki Byakuya."

Hisana felt her head go light at those words, not only had she embarrassed herself in front of nobility but it had been in front of a Kuchiki. Many knew of the Kuchiki's and their power, Hisana had known a young girl who had became a courtesan for one of the Kuchiki nobles. They were known for their power and were a well-respected family in Soul Society from what she had heard.

Hisana felt herself begin to fall and braced herself at hitting the ground. She was surprised when it never came and instead found herself in the arms of Byakuya. His face was full of concern, an emotion he did not know he could feel for a complete stranger.

_'But she's not a complete stranger is she?' _His zanpakutou was talking to him again _'She's called Hisana'_

Ignoring the voice in his head, he gently lifted her to her feet once more.

"Are you alright?"

Hisana drew in a breath in shock, this man had already rescued her from the lake and now he was showing her concern.

"Yes, thank you Kuchiki-sama." She whispered

"Please," He brushed a loose strand of hair from her face "Call me Byakuya."

Her eyes opened in surprise at this, it was as if he was treating her like an equal asking her to call him by his first name.

"I must go." She said, hurriedly, "Thank you for your kindness Kuch-." She stopped and a small smile graced her delicate features, "Byakuya-sama."

Byakuya watched as she ran, not daring to look back at him.

"I hope to see you again." He breathed, "Hisana."

His visits to the lake became more and more frequent as the weeks went by. He hoped to see her again, even if only for a moment, fate however did not seem to be on his side. He was yet to see her during his visits, instead he sat under the sakura trees and let the petals slowly fall and cover him and the ground around him. They reminded him of her, the closest he could get to her.

Byakuya heard a scream in vicinity and at first thought nothing of it, a simple fight in Rukongai. He listened however as the screams became more painful and decided to investigate. He soon discovered something that shocked his very essence, a man standing over what appeared to be either a young woman or a small child, he could not tell. A whip held firmly in his hand, lashing the girl across her body.

"You will learn your place you insolent girl." He sneered, "You are nothing by Inzuri filth. I will teach you to steal from me again."

The girl flinched, expecting the whip to hit her body with force but it never came. She looked up to see a tall figure standing between her and her attacker. She gasped as she saw the green scarf fluttering in the wind.

"Byakuya." She whispered, not knowing if he heard her.

"You will leave." Byakuya's voice was forceful and blunt.

"Not until this girl gets what is coming to her, don't think that a lowly Shinigami will stop me from exacting out her punishment."

_'Call out my name, Byakuya. Say my name, you are ready.'_

"As you wish." Byakuya unsheathed his zanpakutou, "Senbonzakura, Chire."

Instantly his zanpakutou became thousands of tiny sakura petals, he directed them towards the man. He watched as his shikai attacked the man, the attack he had wanted Senbonzakura to allow him to use from the first moment he had held her. Byakuya quickly turned his attention to the girl behind him, to Hisana. Something in his heart pulled at his emotions, he couldn't quite tell what it was, he felt something for her but what it was only time would tell for him. All he knew was that he wanted tp protect her and never let her go.


	3. Chapter 3

Byakuya was finding Senbonzakura to be very difficult to deal with since the incident involving Hisana. She would not tell him why he had allowed him to obtain his shikai and nor would she let him use it again. To her, Byakuya was still lacking a much-needed resolve. She had allowed him to use her power in the selfless act of protecting Hisana, but other than that instance she could not see that same emotion that he had felt then. Senbonzakura felt that he was not ready.

"Why can you allow me the use of my shikai to save Hisana bur not in any other instance?" He was angry was her but felt defeated because he did not know what he could do to convince her.

"_Byakuya, you need to strengthen your resolve. It's not enough that you wish to protect one person, you need to want to protect those around you as well."_ Her voice was almost melodic, she did not want to lose her temper with Byakuya but she was just as stubborn was he was.

"Let me see your face." He commanded, "You have yet to let me see your physical appearance, always staying in the shadows."

"_There has always been a reason to that Byakuya, you know that." _Senbonzakura laughed, _"But very well."_

She stepped out of the shadows and Byakuya's face froze with shock. Her hair was long and black, her features delicate and very familiar.

"Why do you…?" Byakuya stuttered, she had rendered him utterly speechless.

"_Why do I what?" She asked, "Resemble Hisana?"_

He nodded.

"_Byakuya, do you remember when I explained to you about why I hid my physical appearance? I stayed hidden because my physical form takes that of your heart, something that you yourself did not express."_ Her expression softened as she continued, _"You've found someone that has captured your heart, whether you chose to believe it or not, someone you have fallen in love with. I've become the form of what your heart truly wants"_

Byakuya stood there in utter shock and disbelief; he could not begin to contemplate what Senbonzakura was telling him. He knew that he had some sort of feelings for Hisana, his want in protecting her and his constant thoughts of her. He would never have believed that he was in love with her.

Although Senbonzakura was his conscience and was everywhere he was, he tried desperately to get rid of her so she would not interrupt his thoughts. Leaving her on his bed, he quickly shunpoed out of the mansion and to the lake, it couldn't have come soon enough for him.

Byakuya sat under the sakura tree nearest to the lake, hiding his reiatsu so that no one nearby could sense him. He wanted to be alone with his thoughts but with Senbonzakura's words playing on his minds, he quickly realised he had gone there in hope of seeing her again. To see Hisana again

"You seem lost in thought, Bya-kun."

Byakuya looked up, she was barely taller than him when he was sitting down. He smirked inwardly at the way she addressed him, he didn't want to chide her for her lack of respect to his nobility in that moment, he just wanted to take her in his arms and hold her.

"My apologies, Byakuya-sama." Her face became solemn; "I should have addressed you in the right manner."

"Don't." He whispered, taking her hand. "Do not apologise for anything."

Hisana let out a small gasp; she did not understand why he was treating her like this, treating her like she was an equal. He was from one of the richest noble families in Seiretei and she was just scum from Inzuri, she felt far from being his equal.

Byakuya pulled her down slowly, sitting her beside him. He noticed that she was shivering and he took of his outer robes he wore over his shinigami ones and draped it over her shoulders. A slight smile graced her face as he did this and Byakuya felt something inside of himself that made Senbonzakura's words come rushing back. Her smile made him comprehend the full realisation of her words; he really was in love with her.

"You're not wearing your Kenseikan, Byakuya-sama." Hisana's voice was quiet, as if she dared not to even enquire why.

"It's not something I had thought about wearing today." Byakuya looked at her, her face was pale but it still showed that glow of happiness, her eyes still sparkling just like the day he had met her. "Do you not like it?"

"I think you look very handsome regardless, Byakuya-sama."

Hisana blushed at this, she had not meant for the words to escape her mouth and instantly turned away from his gaze. Byakuya took a hand to her face, cupping it gently and turned her to face him once more. He leant in and captured her lips with his own, kissing her tenderly, he did not however expect her to kiss him back. Byakuya kissed her with more passion, not wanting it to end. When he did break contact, he gazed into her eyes, feeling like he was looking right into her soul.

"I love you, Hisana."

Byakuya meant every one of those four little words.

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**Sorry for the shortness, I will promise a longer chapter for the next one.**

**Hope you enjoyed**


	4. Chapter 4

Byakuya had yet again been summonsed by the Kuchiki Elders to a meeting. He despised these meetings more than anything else, only one question escaped their lips and it was one that was becoming increasingly harder to avoid answering. They insisted that he was to have a bride when he succeeds his grandfather as the head of the Kuchiki house. Their meddling has caused Byakuya some bother in past occasions; his many introductions to noble women had become somewhat of an embarrassment to the Kuchiki Elders as Byakuya just dismissed them without even a word.

Slowly walking along the corridor to the meeting, Byakuya found himself lost in thought, stopping for a moment to look at the trees that overlooked the garden. Winter was nearly upon them and all of the sakura trees had ceased to bloom. Snowflakes had begun to fall on the grounds and Byakuya couldn't help feel mesmerised by their beauty. It seemed that just like the sakura blossoms they reminded him of Hisana.

Byakuya brought his gaze away from the window and continued to walk down the corridor. He opened the doors of the hall to see the Elders sitting in their usual position and attire. He let out a small sigh to himself for these meetings were never pleasant. Amongst the small group of Elders, he immediately noticed that his grandfather was not present. His thoughts seemed to be seen to the Elders when one of the elder of the group interjected those thoughts.

"Your grandfather has sent his apologies for not being able to be present at this meeting. He had urgent business with the Sixth Division." Naoki Kuchiki was one of the eldest members of the Kuchiki clan; he was also one of several Kuchiki members against Byakuya becoming the Head of the Kuchiki family.

Byakuya scoffed inwardly at this comment, he knew that his grandfather would never miss a meeting, no matter how important matters were in the Sixth Division. Ginrei Kuchiki put matters of the Kuchiki clan above those of anything else, even if he did not agree with the reasons behind such matters. Byakuya however did not feel he should push the Elders by bringing that up.

"As you know Byakuya, you are to become the Head of the Kuchiki clan once your grandfather feels that you are ready to take over." Byakuya's uncle, Shichirou started speaking. "You need to take a woman as your bride before this can happen, Byakuya. A Kuchiki cannot become Head of the Clan without one."

"I have not yet found a woman you have shown me that has caught my attention." Byakuya brushed a loose hair out of his face; his Kenseikan had not been put on that morning. "I have however found someone that has my attention without your interference."

There were mutters amongst the Elders. All turned their attention to him.

"What Noble family is she from?" Shichirou enquired

"She is not from nobility." Byakuya answered simply

The Kuchiki Elders muttered and grumbled angrily at this, various comments could be heard about Byakuya staining the Kuchiki name if he did this.

"Such audacity, Byakuya." Another of the more senior Elders, Ayumu spoke up, "If she is not from a Noble family then were did she grow up? First District?"

"She is from the 78th District." Byakuya remained stoic throughout "Inuzuri."

Cries of outrage burst across the room, Byakuya however did not seem phased by this. He knew exactly what to expect from the Kuchiki Elders but he also knew it would be some time before he asked Hisana to become his wife, he wanted to protect her from the Kuchiki family for as long as he could. It was not yet a year since he had first met her and he did not wish to rush into something such as marriage. To him Hisana was perfect, no matter where she was from or what her spiritual power was. He was not as condemning as the rest of his family, with the exception of his grandfather and his deceased parents. His parents had been understanding of others, putting up a front to the Elders. His father had originally been quite like them but his mother had softened his heart, just like his grandmother had done to his grandfather.

"Byakuya, you cannot be serious." Shichirou looked almost speechless, "You cannot possibly marry a commoner. Think of the Kuchiki name and how it will be stained if you were to marry such filth."

"I did not say that I was marrying her, I simply said that she had caught my attention." Byakuya was still as composed as he had been when he had entered, "She will be moving into the Kuchiki Mansion later this evening and I hope you will treat her with the same respect that you would show both myself and my grandfather."

Byakuya's composure faltered slightly after his last few words

"However judging by the fact he is not present at this meeting, I sense that your respect for him has lapsed slightly by not even informing him of the meeting." Byakuya turned to the door and clutched the handle, "I bid you goodbye. This meeting is over."

He slid open the doors and walked out, not bothering to take into account any muttering or even to acknowledge his name being called.

*

Byakuya was standing by the gates awaiting Hisana's imminent arrival. He had been thrilled that she had accepted his offer for her to live in the Kuchiki Mansion, part of him thought her pride would reject him. Hisana had told him before that she felt like a burden to him, his constant visits to Rukongai to see her made her feel guilty that he spent so much of his time with a mere peasant that did not warrant his attention. Byakuya had been quick to dispel those thoughts from her head, he had never thought of his time spent with her as anything but joyful and something he had always looked forward to and most of all, he loved her.

He watched as she walked to him, a pang of guilt hitting him. Hisana had no belongings that bring with her and her only clothes were the ones she was wearing. He couldn't help but feel anything but guilt in that moment, there he was in his shinigami robes and Kenseikan with all the wealth others could only imagine and Hisana had nothing.

"Byakuya-sama."

Her face was full of happiness as she greeted him, however he could not help but to notice the cold shivers from her body. He quickly took off his robes and wrapped them around her tiny frame. He swooped down and placed a kiss on her lips, they felt almost frozen to touch. Byakuya wrapped his arms around her to keep her warm, he wanted to stay like that for as long as possible but he knew they had to get out of the cold. Hisana did not even have time to react before Byakuya had shunpoed them halfway through Seiretei, she still had not got used to Byakuya doing it.

Once they had reached the Kuchiki Manor, Byakuya was quick to get her into her room to keep her out of sight of the Elders; he did not want to cause Hisana any unnecessary grief that would come if the Elders saw her. First he needed to make sure that the situation could be calmed down.

Hisana looked around the room in awe, never had she seen anything this fancy. Byakuya could not help but smile slightly, she never saw but he found some amusement in her excitement and wonder.

"Is this really my room?" Hisana enquired, "It seems too fancy for me to sleep in. I do not deserve this Byakuya-sama."

"No, you're right." Byakuya said, "You deserve so much more than this."

He pulled her into an embrace and kissed her chastely, Byakuya felt he was the one that did not deserve her. She was something that was so pure and innocent, Byakuya felt like he was the one not worthy of her presence.

"You should get some sleep." Byakuya whispered, "I hope you will find everything to your liking."

Hisana smiled, never had she been treated with such kindness. She knew in her heart that she loved Byakuya; she just did not know how to show him.

"Will you stay with me tonight?" Hisana asked, her voice almost child-like.

Byakuya gave her an enquiring look.

"I feel that I may get lonely in such a big and unfamiliar place." She spoke quietly as if she dared not have asked such a question.

"How could I refuse such a request?" Byakuya took her hand and led her to the bed. The king-size bed was more than enough room for the two of them, Byakuya however was a gentleman and would not even think of doing anything to Hisana at such a time. He wrapped his arms around her tiny waist as pulled her into him. Byakuya watched as she fell asleep, stroking her hair and planting a small kiss on her forehead. He waited until he knew that she had fallen asleep before he chose to do so himself.


End file.
